I had every intention of staying away from the internet. I have a deadline coming up (one I’ve had to push twice already due to unavoidable personal issues), a full home remodel nearing completion, and a handful of obligations that eat up a whole lot of my time. A few weeks ago, I swore off connecting to my wireless network. I had to get things done. Real, tangible chores I couldn’t put off or delegate to another. So…why am I here?
Well, I found myself with a free hour of time today and I decided it would best be spent in front of the television. Plucking the remote from the couch cushion, I skimmed through the DVR list. I’ve missed a lot of shows lately and my digital recorder was about to start deleting them. Can’t have that!
Starting at the bottom of the list, I sought to free up some space with a couple hour-length shows that, by fast-forwarding through the commercials, I could easily fit into the 90 minutes I’d allotted myself for time-waste.
What I watched was a show you might be familiar with: I (Almost) Got Away With It
For some reason, these types of programs appeal to me. Anyway, my recording started (inexplicably) ten minutes into the show. I watched for half an hour as this guy who seemed decent enough dodged the feds. His life on the run was pretty surprising: finding a “safe” spot somewhere in the southwest, he set up as a farm worker earning wages under the table. He and his girlfriend rented a little trailer and helped the old lady next door weed her garden and take out her trash.
I didn’t know this guy’s crime. He was on the FBI’s most wanted list, but that is pretty nonspecific. The dude could’ve been an axe murderer or a terrorist. To be honest, I found either scenario unlikely–he was just so…likeable! Did I mention how he helped the old lady next door?
Well, the show had about five minutes left and I knew he was about to get caught. The name of this program is, after all, “I ALMOST Got Away With It.” Due to missing the first ten minutes, however, I was having a hard time associating this stand-up guy with any crime that could put him on THAT list.
The reason for that, believe it or not, is because I didn’t know movie pirating was such an offensive crime. I didn’t know the FBI would hunt you down for copying the latest Brad Pitt flick and making a couple bucks.
I can not possibly articulate my disgust here. Movie pirating puts you on the FBIs Most Wanted List? MOVIE PIRATING?
I’ll give law enforcement the benefit of the doubt here and assume it wasn’t just a few copies. I’m going to assume this guy was manufacturing “hot” DVDs at a rate never seen before or since. He must’ve made BILLIONS!
Even so…so freaking what!?
Do we not have bigger fish to fry? Are there not more dangerous criminals? What about murderers? Rapists? Child molesters? There is a sex slave industry in this country–in the world! Human trafficking is real. It’s really happening. Right now. Everywhere.
What? We don’t care about that? We refuse to waste resources protecting the most vulnerable, helpless, among us when Tom Cruise might lose a few dollars?
Ugh. Just… seriously. UGH.
I will offer up the possibility here that I missed key elements in this episode that might somehow allow me to feel “safer” with this “criminal” behind bars…but I doubt it. Julia Roberts has enough money. Pirated movies will not prevent Steven Spielberg from buying…I don’t know…a small country?
Celebrities will get by just fine. What about the rest of us? What about the small time swindler who screwed Grandma out of her retirement? The couple who stole funds from a children’s charity? These are people without a conscience. These are people who should be locked up.
The guy “robbing” Universal Studios or Miramax or DreamWorks or Whatever… Come on! The FBI’s Most Wanted List should be compiled of violent, dangerous criminals posing a PHYSICAL DANGER to the population. Not somebody stealing pocket change from millionaires.
But that’s just my opinion…